I am not very interesting in the least, I used to believe that one day I somehow would become famous. Everyone would know my name, or at least a very large portion of the world. Which is strange, because I hate being the center of attention, my social skills literally just shut down and I cannot function. Such a responses causes many people to believe that I am very strange, very odd, and would not want to be friend me. However, for some reason, I always thought becoming famous would help this, or that maybe it just wouldn’t matter anymore. That people would just pass of my odd social shutdown as some cute little quirk, that maybe I would be viewed in an image similar to cute quirky Jennifer Lawrence or Emma Stone. The only problem with this fantasy? Both of them are very pretty. No, that’s not quite right, they are absolutely gorgeous. Whereas, me? I am not even close to being pretty, not even a little bit. Maybe they are just photoshopped a lot, or at least I try to tell myself that, that maybe with the same photoshopping I could be viewed like that. But who am I kidding? The is no way that I could even come close to looking as pretty as an actress, and I am never going to become famous. Thus, my story has changed, I don’t wanted to be gorgeous or famous anymore. I just want to be socially acceptable, to be able to function in the real world, and be loved by those around me. To have a satisfying job, a good husband, and a happy life. Is that really so much to ask for?
Well. It has been a very long time since my last post… I apologize. I’m not even sure why. I doubt anyone is actually paying any attention to this
pointless little blog. I don’t even think I need it anymore, I had definitely needed it as an outlet for my frustration and sadness, but so much has changed in the last 6 or so months.
The biggest change? I think I met the love of my life. He is the most amazing person I have ever met; I couldn’t imagine my life without him now. He puts up with all my little
insecurities, all my f cars, and all my craziness. He not only puts up with all of this, but he loves me for all of these things as well. He is incredibly patient, kind, and loving. He treats me better than I ever could have imagined possible. He’s changed my entire world.
Not much else has really changed, still dealing with an insane amount of stress. But I have also met a few new friends who are very supportive and there if I need a shoulder to cry on.
I cannot wait to finish my degree and get the hell out of here with my love though. I want to be done with school.
I want my real life to begin now. I’m ready.
~ ♥ ~ Physics Flame ~ ♥ ~
There’s this idea in my head of the person that I was suppose to become… But instead I became the person I had to in order to protect myself. This person is not working in my life anymore, and I’m getting really tired of them. I think other people are fed up too. I’m ready to be the right person now but I’ve been this one for so long… How do I get out of this vicious cycle?